GRAPH DESCRIPTION
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XATlmM286wg
PLANNING STAGE :
1. Time/Tense : 2011-2014 / Past Simple
2. Topic : The number of visiting students in some destination
3. General Comment : Tourists destination in London -- increased ; Paris and Rome -- decreased
4. Details : Paris, London, Rome in details
DESCRIPTION :
The line graph illustrates the number of visiting students towards an university lecturer in Paris, London and Rome between 2011 and 2014, a period of 4 years.
It is clearly seen in the graph, there were two trends of tourists destination. The Number of visiting Paris and Rome declined over 2014, while London increased steadily over period.
In 2011, the highest number of visiting student was in Rome with more than 15000 people. After that, the number went down dramatically to more than 10000 people and rose slightly in 2013. Over the period, the number fell back again to more than 15000. Just like in Rome, was also a decrease number of visiting students in Paris. First year in period between 2011 and 2012, there was an increase from 10000 people to more and then occured a gradual rise to 20000 visitor in 2013, which it was the highest number of vistor afterall. However, the number in 2014 went down slightly.
In sharp to this, there was always occured a steady increase in London. The number of visiting between 2011 and 2013 rose slightly then increased gradually in the last period of 2014 to the number of more than 15000 visitors.
Nice work on describing the graph Cil! keep it up!
BalasHapusHello Cecil,
BalasHapusI personally think that your kind of IELTS task 1 writing is good. You have did a great job!
Hi Cecilia! Your writing is so detailed and well written despite the short paragraphs. I like it. Keep up the good work!
BalasHapusoverall, i would say your writing is clear and i understood what your description. you have a good grammar too, Cecil. Good jobb!
BalasHapusHei cecil. It's clear and details enough to understand. But better if you put your introduction or your big line or overview on the box to make that esthetic. Good job cecil!!!
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BalasHapus-Here is Rifky Dwi Hartono-
BalasHapusDear Cecil,
I have read your article completely. First I would like to express that you have good skills in hand writing. Even though I found a bit mistake on your article, which is in the details part. As I know from Faikar (our Captain Class), he suggested to us for Planning Stage should be add the detail not literally write it “in detail”. But, I don’t know which one is correct. In addition, to make it clear the 3th sentence in paragraph 3, you should put 'of it'. So the sentence would be like this 'Over the period, the number of it fell back again to more than 15000'. Overall your article is good, Good Job. Keep writing!
Hi Cecil! Your explanation is very interesting and clear enough. I could understand what your point is.
BalasHapusKeep it up!
Hi cecil! What a great post you wrote here
BalasHapusI think it's informative, interesting, and structured
Keep up the good work in the future! :)
Hello, Cecilia!
BalasHapusI have read your report and you made it with a good quality of writing. Besides, I also want to suggest you one thing ;)
Please take a look at your first santence in the first paragraph. I will copy the sentence "The line graph illustrates the number of visiting students towards an university lecturer in Paris, London and Rome..."
I just got a bit confused with this sentence because of 'towards an university lecturer', I think you may remove these 4 words because it means that we should write 250 words for our lecturer which is Mr. Emilius German (for us) ;)
I think for the other suggestions have been mentioned above from the other comments ;)
Overall, I like your writing. Keep it up, Cecilia ;)
Hi cecil
BalasHapusYou do a great job in this writing. It is well organized and detailed at the sametime. Perhaps in the introduction part you may remove towards university lecturer because it is not the topic of the graph. It is just an instruction. :)
Dear Cecil.
BalasHapusI have read yours and I found it clear enough also simple. Such inspiring. Beside others suggestion, I will give additional of it. It will be better if you give table for your Planning Stage. Also, please pay attention for your writing, such as capital letter or alignment of paragraph. It would be easier for the reader to read it. Overall, well done! Keep improving~
Hei cecil. It's clear and details enough to understand. But better if you put your introduction or your big line or overview on the box to make that esthetic. Good job cecil!!!
BalasHapusPLANNING STAGE :
BalasHapus1. Time/Tense : 2011-2014 / Past Simple
2. Topic : The number of visiting students in some destination
3. General Comment : Tourists destination in London -- increased ; Paris and Rome -- decreased
4. Details : Paris, London, Rome in details
DESCRIPTION :
The line graph illustrates the number of visiting students towards some destination such as Paris, London and Rome between 2011 and 2014, a period of 4 years.
It is clearly seen in the graph, there were two trends of tourists destination. The Number of visiting Paris and Rome declined over 2014, while London increased steadily over period.
In 2011, the highest number of visiting student was in Rome with more than 15000 people. After that, the number went down dramatically to more than 10000 people and rose slightly in 2013. Over the period, the number of it fell back again to more than 15000. Just like in Rome, was also a decrease number of visiting students in Paris. First year in period between 2011 and 2012, there was an increase from 10000 people to more and then occured a gradual rise to 20000 visitor in 2013, which it was the highest number of vistor afterall. However, the number in 2014 went down slightly.
In sharp to this, there was always occured a steady increase in London. The number of visiting between 2011 and 2013 rose slightly then increased gradually in the last period of 2014 to the number of more than 15000 visitors.